Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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