Small penises have feelings too.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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