Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
