If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize