his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
