Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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