Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
zippers are such a cool invention
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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