I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
