I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize