How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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