how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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