Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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