It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
