I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
