don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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