So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
