After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you guys were way drunker than both of me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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