the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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