wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
