look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
