I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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