Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish you could order shots online.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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