after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize