i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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