ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
