once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
