Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
