I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
