apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
