Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
