There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
