I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
