Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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