windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
