they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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