That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
