I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
