we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
