i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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