U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
