All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
