Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
