Bisexual people are plain selfish.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize