So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
