heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
