I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
