I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
