My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he was CRYING into my vagina
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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