he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
