Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
