There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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