You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
