she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize