My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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