he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
