Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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