I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
