i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
