we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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