pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
