WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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