He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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