hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
