Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
