I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm at about main and main street
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
