Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
