what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The ass gains better be worth it
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
