WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
