Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
