I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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