I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
