Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
