You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
