we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
