If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize